No politics this week: suicide, depression, men, and me | Burnley MP Oliver Ryan column

You might not know but September is Suicide Prevention Month, and I've been struck over the past few months of reports of people, particularly men, losing their lives to suicide in our area.

I go on social media, and see someone has been found dead in the woods, or at home, and it always makes me feel so sad, it feels tragic. I don't know the circumstances, of course, but these people - usually men - felt they had nowhere to turn, we should remember them. Sincerely, my heart goes out to every one of them, and their families.

Suicide is an incredibly difficult and heavy topic to talk about. It’s something that has touched far too many families across our communities and has taken far too many great people away before their time.

When we talk about suicide prevention, we often talk about NHS crisis services – and of course, making sure those services are there when someone needs them is absolutely vital. But we can do more to prevent people, particularly men, getting to that place. Did you know suicide is now the biggest killer of men in the UK, and even children?

As a society, we're more connected than ever, but lonelier than ever. We have fewer real networks than ever, and more suffer (usually in silence) with problems or mental health conditions.

I don't think I've spoken about this before in public, but I'm a man who has lived most of his adult life with diagnosed and medicated depression. Everyone is different, but there are more people coping with mental health conditions than you think. Please know that you're not on your own, you're loved, you're worthy, and for all the massive negatives, life is wonderful too.

Men in particular feel like they have to deal with all their problems alone, or that admitting they are struggling somehow makes them weak - let me tell you, you're not weak, in fact you're very strong.

Sometimes "prevention" can just be something as simple as asking a mate how they really are, checking in on a colleague at work, or making the time to sit down and listen. You don't need to have all the answers. Sometimes just knowing that somebody cares and is there can make a huge difference. Local organisations like Casual Minds Matter, Six Connections, or Andy's Man Club, Lancashire Women, and Healthier Heroes (if you're a veteran) do so much to help people - and can help you too, even if you just want a chat and a brew.

Depression is horrible, the lows take all your energy, drive, will to do anything or speak to anyone. You question yourself, beat yourself up, sit in your head and go over things again and again. It's hard. But honestly, even if it's just telling yourself you're low, recognising what you're going through, helps. Telling a mate or family is even better, even if it's just to say you're having a rubbish time of it at the moment. Reading a book, music, or going on a walk helps me too - and the absolute best thing (for me anyway) is logging out of my phone for a bit. All the social media just makes it worse for me, but that said, everyone's different. I try and stay off the beer too, but am not always good at sticking to that, I just feel worse the day after.

I felt I needed to talk about this, to be honest not as the MP, just as a person: a man, who struggles himself, and who sees the news of these men found dead.

Every suicide is a tragedy and a loss. So this September, let's make checking in on each other part of everyday life. Ask the question. Make the call. And if you're struggling yourself, please don't feel that you have to carry it alone - things will be ok.

By way of some crisis help, if you or someone you know is in crisis call 999 or call 111 and select option 2. If you or they need someone to talk to please call Samaritans on 116 123 or contact CALM on 0800 585858.

Sometimes, starting the conversation is the hardest part. Let's make sure nobody feels like they have to face it alone - and as ever my email is always open: [email protected]