From bumbling Boris and Harry and Meghan to Insulate Britain and Richard Gere. Just some of the things that irritate me / Dave Thomas column
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Now let’s have a shufty at the other stuff, the stuff that irritates and makes the hackles rise.
Shall we start with Bojo? I like Boris. His likeability is what led the Tories to success and a thumping majority in the last elections. He bounces around rather like a playful heffalump.
But fit to lead the country? in the early days, yes, but getting more and more dodgy. Let’s be honest, would you buy a second-hand car from the guy? Would you believe a word he says? The pictures of him in his office
attending what was not a party according to him, shows people in party hats and champagne bottles.
Get out of that one Boris. He probably will.
Funny how this particular picture emerged when 'party gate' was slowly quietening down. So, contrast
this image of Bozza smiling away at his ‘party’ with the picture of the Queen at her husband’s funeral sitting in lonely solitude in the chapel pew.
Sorry Boris but you have been an utter divot, trying to say that you have broken no rules, while others stuck to them obediently. We’re talking two-faced hypocrisy here. Eton, Oxford, privilege, entitlement, he thinks the rules that he made, don’t apply to him.
A jolly bloke to have a pint with, but alas it’s probably Carrie pulling his strings.
Enter one Kurt Zouma, a top footballer, plays for West Ham. What a thoroughly nasty person he is.
Thought it would be great fun to drop kick his cat, slap it, and have someone film it. The word moron comes to mind. What possesses anyone to do this kind of thing, whether they be a footballer or anything else? Enter one David Moyes his West Ham manager who gives him a verbal reprimand but still plays him in the team that same night as the videos become public.
“But he’s my best centre half,” Moyes whined.
The RSPCA have taken the cats away. Following the outcry Moyes fined him loads of dosh. A petition has thousands of signatures to have him prosecuted.
Rishi Sunak: smart, articulate, well groomed, the Chancellor, but does he have the first idea of how we ordinary folks live? Yes, you can all have £200 towards your ever-increasing fuel bills. But hang on a mo. You can’t have it until October, and then it’s only a loan. A LOAN!
I hate exclamation marks but there, I’ve used one. You have to pay it back at £40 a year over five years. I thought it was a joke at first but to my astonishment it was true. Behind the scenes the word is that Rishi is plotting to take over from Boris. Lord help us.
Then there are all the little things that are so irritating.
Unloading the dishwasher. Getting a soaking at a football match, three consecutive games on the trot, that must be some kind of record. The Turf Moor online ticketing system when it’s time to renew the season tickets. Filling in passenger locator forms. Running out of tomato sauce. Punctures. The price of petrol. The Insulate Britain twerps who block roads and motorways. Bananas. Queue-jumping. The Emperor Macron of France. Harry and Meghan. Looking down and seeing you’ve put odd socks on. Richard Gere, cos he’s better looking than me.
The £150,000 a year pension that Cressida Dick will get now she has been sacked. The huge profits that water companies make and companies like Shell. The picture of Liz Truss in Moscow wearing that fur hat trying to look
like Mrs Thatcher. 'Tell-tale' Dominic Cummings. The one sock that is always left at he back of the washing machine.
But lest you think I’m just a miserable old curmudgeon, there’s lots of things that make up for all the above.
Although Mrs T would tell you different, generally, I’m a glass half full sort of bloke and laugh more than I moan.