Summer sizzler? Don’t believe it!

But do you remember back in November that it was forecast in some quarters that it would be not the wettest, but the coldest?

Back then, Mr Pendle’s morning newspaper had front page story after front page story with meteorological experts warning us to expect three months of massive snowfalls, severe frosts and sub-zero temperatures in what was predicted to be “the worst winter in decades”.

There was no mention whatsoever of the terrible floods which have affected vast swathes of southern England, at least not until the storms had been forecast by every weather forecaster in the country.

As things turned out, of course, there was hardly any snow, Mr Pendle’s car windscreen rarely needed clearing of ice (until this week!) and temperatures were slightly above the seasonal norm.

And now that better weather lies ahead, Mr Pendle (who begins the first week of his holidays in seven days and is therefore hoping for a rare week of leisure in fine conditions) is dreading buying his morning paper and reading of the same experts predicting a sizzling summer in the months to come.

For the last time the newspaper came up with this pipedream, reality proved to be somewhat different – and the only thing that sizzled throughout the summer were the sausages and bacon in Mr Pendle’s frying pan rather than on a barbecue.