Mr Pendle: Queuing on Boxing Day.. not me!
Mr Pendle might not have everything in life, but a big store Boxing Day sales queue is the last place he would want to be, mingling with the masses in a desperate bid to get his hands on something which had caught his eye.
There is nothing he needs so badly that he would waste hours lining up for, only to find that someone had jostled him, trampled him and beaten him to it.
And as for sleeping overnight on the pavement outside a store to be at the front of the queue, that is something he could never do.
His home comforts come first and foremost every time.
And as his mind ticked over, he found himself wondering:
More photos from Towneley Tribute Festival where thousands enjoyed acts covering the likes of David Bowie, Bon Jovi, The Stone Roses, and Oasis
Police launch investigation after man and woman killed in Ribble Valley collision
Burnley and Padiham reception class pictures from our archives - featuring Worsthorne, Rosewood and Padiham primary schools
Did everyone get what they so desperately wanted?
How many of the people really had to be there, and how many just went along because they felt it was “the thing to do” and they had to be seen to have been there as a highlight of the year in their exciting lives in order to chat away non stop on their mobile phones and social networks?
And if retailers could slash prices by vast amounts to get rid of items deemed to have passed their sell-by date, why had they not cut the prices beforehand and sold more in the months running up to Christmas?
• Full marks to Prime Minister David Cameron in rebuffing the request last week from desperate Argentinian president Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner for Britain to return the Falkland Islands to her country.
The people of the Falklands – or the Malvinas as the Argentinians call them – have always shown a clear desire to remain British.
And a referendum on the islands’ political status in March is expected to confirm this wish.
When an equally desperate General Galtieri launched an invasion of the islands 30 years ago in a bid to boost his popularity at home, then Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher despatched a task force to win a brief war.
Now, with Senora Kirchner in need of a similar popularity boost, she has picked on the Falklands as an issue to try to curry favour.
Mr Cameron, however, is having none of it, and has pledged to do everything to protect the interests of the islands’ population.
He is absolutely right to do so.
For the islanders have declared themselves to be British and until they decide otherwise, they deserve our full protection.