Modern day Medusa | Rebecca Jane column
There’s a trend coming through the psychology ranks, and it’s one I have been cautious to discuss.
As a female, If you say anything negative about other females, it’s frowned up, attacked or dismissed. However, not all men are from Mars and all women certainly don’t come from Venus either.
Authenticity is the number one thing our readers get from my writing. So, I’m nailing my statement to my cross and saying some humans are pure demons. Why do we have to pretend otherwise?!
The people who sit and preach all day about ‘good vibes only’ are simply surprising their authentic thoughts to please others. They’re afraid to confront harsh truth for what others may think of them. I’ve spent 15 years being judged for my opinions, I’m a fully cooked cake that can’t be changed now. I am no saint, this column comes without judgement, but it comes with hard truth. Truth can be ugly, we only change and learn when we address pain head on. So, let’s go…
The psychological buzz topic is that number of women who profess to be the ‘good girl’, angelic, perfect and aim to appear saintly – are generally calculated and at times sinister. A ‘modern day Medusa’. It is another harsh truth that the majority of women like to be liked, they want to people please and will often do anything to make others ‘happy’. That happiness not only is at a detriment to themselves, but when it falls into deficit, at times it can become demonic and damaging.
The world is shown a woman of quality and perfectionism, but delve further into the human and the mask can begin to fall. Men today specifically come under fire for narcissistic behaviour, but when we identify flaws in a female, we’re all too scared to say.
But how do you spot a modern day Medusa walking amongst us?!…
The type of woman we speak of has little to no long term friends. Other women soon find these types out and avoid at all costs. She will latch on to other women in times of difficulty or need, because she struggles to validate herself on her own. Family tend not to be close to this type of woman either, feuds, disowning and turbulent relationships are all she knows. The woman has no option left but to make the man (or partner) in her life her everything, because he is her source of supply.
There’s a certain type of man what loves these women of false perfection. They’ve generally been through hard times, overcome battles and struggles and desperately want to believe such a ‘perfect’ woman exists. The woman appears like their lighthouse in the storm. Fast forward a few years down the line, when the truth is unravelling and the perfectionist picture all falls apart. The woman scrambles, does anything to keep portraying perfection and sacrifices herself in the process.
In order to succeed in her conquest, the woman will stop at nothing to keep the perfect public image in order. She will appear sweet, kind, considerate, unsuspecting, safe and unthreatening. Even her appearance will usually be ‘bland’ and plain, for fear of ruffling too many feathers. She avoids standing out or being ‘too vibrant’ for fear of what others may think.
When we personality test these women, we find a common theme. Most humans have two strong personality adaptations, when there are six in total. A personality test of this woman usually comes back with all six adaptations perfectly even. The sad truth is, she doesn’t know who she is, because she is ready to adapt and bend her personality to whomever she is speaking to at the time. An instinct born from living in survival mode for too long.
When our woman isn’t getting the attention she needs from her supply, she can’t help but crave a bit of spotlight. Seeking the small strokes to make her feel a little better. Every so often, she ventures out of her shell, seemingly with a new lease of life or ‘love for herself’. There is one motivation for the facade, and that is pure manipulation.
She will do anything to secretly deceive, lie and cheat. She entices her male to depend upon her, by alienating him from his family, friends and business because he is her source of supply and her entire validation in life. This type of woman will not care for how she leaves a man, or what part of his soul she has to sap in the process. Without him, she feels worthless, incomplete, has no validation and no purpose.
You will have all met a man who has become involved with this type of woman. At the start of the relationship they are vibrant, fun and entertaining. Towards the end you can see in their eyes how every ounce of their energy has been taken from them. They appear lifeless and a shell of their former self.
In return, the male won’t know how to act or react, because he lost himself. He will be caught off guard, he’ll question why he’s there, will potentially seek validation in other women and probably make a lot of mistakes along the way.
The problem is, men tend not to be able to cover their tracks as well as a female. He will take the brunt of the blame when the perfect picture falls apart, because the outside world will look on and say ‘but she SEEMS so lovely, it must be all his fault…’.
The cycle starts all over again. The female gets the victim title and laps it up. She’s in her happy place now, he’s on the back foot and she is sat on her perfectionist throne after her master plan has succeeded.
She will attempt to reinvent herself and spin another perfect story to anyone looking from the outside. The people who were on the inside will be long gone, except for the poor suffering male at core.
Welcome to the Medusa of the feminine world.
The truth is ugly, we all know a woman or two that will fall into this category. For every terrible trait of a human soul, comes insecurity, hurt and pain. That is the reason we cannot judge. We’re allowed to deliver cold hard facts, but we will never understand the journey a woman like this has walked. What pain has she suffered to make her become this? Has she been constantly told she was never good enough in her childhood? Did she used to love with all her heart, until one too many breaks closed her heart off? What void in her life is she trying to fill?
The world is full of beautiful and wonderful women, but we’re not all from Venus! It’s time to stop pretending and see some women for what they are.
Some women are pure danger, and the public need warning. The men who fall into their Venus fly traps need warning, no male deserves a life living with a modern day Medusa! Raising awareness and education is the first step in not allowing good men to fall at their fake and dangerous feet.