If you tinkle be a sweetie and please spare blushes
We all get caught a little short sometimes.
It happens to the best of us.
Yet, most of us manage these ‘wee’ instances of bladder emergency in a fairly civilised manner by seeking out the nearest convenience in a timely and decorous manner.
Incidents happen but, by gosh, we are British and we generally find a solution to spare our blushes and spend a penny in peace.
This decorum seemed to have escaped the lorry driver who I had the unfortunate luck of being ‘parked’ behind on the motorway fast lane, as we faced 20 minutes of static traffic.
We all had our engines off, we were all late for work, we all had nagging sensations and wished we had not drunk that second morning coffee...
But the vast majority of drivers did not feel the urge as strongly as lorry man, who hopped nimbly out of his long-distance truck, walked the length of the vehicle until he was right in front of my windscreen, before relieving himself.
All this with a grin on his face and while looking me straight in the eye.
No idea what he was pleased about - I didn’t even have my binoculars.
And to say lorry man’s move was unreasonable is to understate.
He’s a long distance driver, for goodness sake, and there must be solutions way up there in his cab, which I’m sure at the very least contained a plastic cup.
Was there any need to assault the vision of a random female driver on her way to work?
I think not.
But it is not only lorry man who is unable to stick to the mores of polite society, while under a little liquid pressure.
Several footballers caused consternation at the Cheltenham Cup this week, after appearing to wee into plastic cups and then throw the contents off a balcony. Any need? I think not.
And the unnamed man who was caught on camera and by several fellow customers - sprinkling into a frozen food cabinet at Morrisons?
More reasons there to control the urge than ever I would say.
Please, if you feel the urge to tinkle, please be a sweetie and spare our blushes.