Have I turned my straighteners off? #modernproblems

They call it a modern problem.

The menace that is a hair straightener
The menace that is a hair straightener

One that in the scale of problems in the world is hardly pressing yet despite this has earned its own hashtag - which in itself is a modern problem.

(Did you hear the one about musical students calling sharps - hashtags? But that’s a whole other column).

Our #modernproblems are many.

But one garnered a remarkable reaction in the world of Twitter and resonates with millions.

The thread ‘Have I turned my hair straighteners off’ went viral which is entirely understandable.

Frankly there is nothing worse (well there is - frizzy hair maybe?).

Personally I have a love/hate relationship with my straighteners, even though I use them only on special occasions like parties, meeting world leaders, showing off, or the rare occasion I can bothered for work.

This is extremely lucky for my dad, who has found himself my superhero of choice.


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He reckons he has been dispatched with his cape on more than 10 occasions to check I have turned them off after anxious phonecalls, usually in whispered panic from airports, toilets at swanky award dos or after a few shandys at the Christmas party.

Once I got all the way to Greece before he was sent flying off to my house to save the day.

Luckily he doesn’t live that far away and is quite a nice chap.

I can’t even count the number of times I have driven practically all the way to work and had to turn back after that terrifying, anxious feeling of doom descends telling me I must go home again and check.


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Those days when I start panicking a little late to return home, I anxiously scour the Fire and Rescue websites for a house fire in the vicinity.

Once I got the reporter on duty to ring up our local firefighters and check.

And sometimes I only start worrying on the way home, scanning the skyline for smoke.

Taxi drivers’ profits have undoubtedly soared due to me almost arriving at destinations before turning around so I can run back into the house in panic.


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And I know I’m not alone.

A comprehensive survey of the one person sitting next to me (female), revealed horror stories of burn marks on furniture and worse.

But do you know what?

For all that, I have never, ever, actually left them turned on.