If only the wheelie bins could talk!

green bin
green bin

I thought readers might like to share in the conversation I overheard in my back garden after watching the England vs Poland match down at my local pub.

Clearly they are talking about the new green wheelie bin letter from Ribble Valley Borough Council!


“Well no, not really, only had a couple!”

“No, not you, I’m talking to my mate blue wheelie,”

“I heard that, can’t a wheelie get some sleep?”

“Have you not heard then, he’s had a letter?”

“Who’s had a letter, at this time of night as well?”

“Green wheelie, he’s gone, fired, finito, can’t take it anymore, past his prime, no capacity for the job”

“What’s that, first I’ve heard about it, this calls for action brother, what about the Union?”

“I agree brother and what about our human rights, flagrant abuse of European legislation; we must all stand together... at the bottom of the drive!”

“Now hang on you two and listen; I’m actually retiring early and being replaced by one that is much bigger, articulate and... female! Yes, they call it equal opportunities!”

“What do you mean, articulate?”

“Well, the lid opens both ways!”

“Oh, that’s all right, don’t need the Union then?”

“No, but watch your language when you get tipped into the wagon, you never know who’s listening!”

“Yeah, right, ok, good luck in your retirement! Here, did you watch the game then?”

“Yes, the boys done well but half the squad need re-cycling and as for our tactics... compost!

Trevor Hobday

Littlemoor Road, Clitheroe