I’m guilty, I have a four-wheel drive

I therefore plead guilty to the charge and await sentence!

However, in deciding my sentence, please could the following facts be taken as mitigating circumstances.

I live at the bottom of a rather steep hill and, in order to attend court in my role as a JP (unpaid), and to have a vehicle with sufficient room to carry out numerous charity functions, it is important I can use my vehicle whatever the road conditions.

It is also needed on medical grounds, as I suffer from osteoarthritis in my hips and knees.

Getting in and out of a smaller vehicle can be painful and difficult.

The tow bar is needed to tow a caravan, as I never fly and holiday only in the UK.

In more general terms, I try to be very conscious of the environment, use a minimum amount of water (United Utilities have even checked the meter to make sure it is working), gas and electric use are kept to a minimum. In fact, my son says my house is the only one he knows where you need to put a coat on to come in – this despite double glazing plus cavity wall and loft insulation.

I recycle all paper, glass, and plastic, I also have a dog so there is no food waste.

In considering all of the above, I plead that my sentence be not too severe, and would pledge in future to wear a hair shirt at all times, give up any luxury or perceived luxury and, if necessary, to take up the life of a hermit and live in a cave!

Name and address supplied