Neither shaken nor stirred over James Bond anniversary

Cue lots of stories with celebs telling us which actor they think has been the best Bond.

Now as a one-time participant in pub quizzes, where questions on 007 used to crop up with weekly regularity, Mr Pendle could name all the actors who have played Bond.

But never having watched a Bond film in his life, his problem came when asked to match the movies up with the actor who filled the title role – which one of Messrs Connery, Moore, Lazenby, Casenove, Brosnan, Dalton or Craig (and not forgetting the “Casino Royale” spoof David Niven) was it?

There are plenty of male fantasists out there who dream of themselves as being 007 – but Mr Pendle is not one of them.

He is more of a realist, and cannot see what the fascination is of a super hero who defeats all the villains who appear in front of him and whose vision when it comes to firing a gun at him is so poor Mr Pendle would recommend they pay a visit to Specsavers.

In contrast to Bond, 2014 is also the centenary of the outbreak of the First World War – a conflict which saw thousands of brave men killed in what was, in hindsight, a war which Britain should have kept well away from.

They were proper heroes – not some artificial, too good to be believed character who leaves Mr Pendle neither shaken or stirred, to parody one of his favourite sayings.