Lies fade away, but the truth will always stay | Rebecca Jane

I’ve been lucky enough to be involved with some very thought provoking conversations of late.

Wednesday, 25th August 2021, 3:45 pm
Rebecca Jane

I’ve had a whole array of people talking to me about their deep, personal trauma, as well as experiences and events in life that could have easily broken them.

I’ve been given a whole new understanding of the word ‘forgiveness’, how hard that can be for some people to do and why it is important to live a life without bitterness or regret.

I have never been a revengeful person, 95% of my relationships have all ended with no drama, tragedy or argument.

Don’t get me wrong, the relationships were turbulent, but the endings were non-existent. I have never understood why people become hell bent on revenge, or why people can’t seem to let some things go - but over the last few months, I’ve been given a deeper level of understanding.

One key lesson I learned years ago. I don’t need to put people down to make myself feel better.

I constantly check myself on that front. As a person committed to authenticity, my words can be harsh.

It is a fine line in being truthful, and using honesty as a guise for putting someone else down or asserting authority because of my personal insecurity.

‘Lies fade away, but the truth will always stay’ is one comment a good friend said to me recently, and the world just made sense in that one moment.

Nothing could be more true. You only have to look at history to know, lies and the white noise eventually die.

After years working in investigation, the one thing I know is that when people spin a web of lies around them, they quickly forget what they’ve said and to whom.

They can only keep that game up for so long, which is why when the lies die down, only the truth remains.

If you’re going through a turbulent time, and you feel people have done you wrong. You have my sympathy, but so do the saboteurs.

People who inflict revenge on others and have bitterness deeply intertwined in their heart are sad souls. Imagine how that must feel.

A grudge is poison that eventually eats away at your core until you destroy yourself. That sounds like an incredibly painful existence to me, and I have nothing but sympathy for anyone who feels this way.

It is important not to chastise or judge someone for a grudge they hold, in their mind, they will have their reasons. One of the saddest things I see in my working capacity is people with true mental illness, or a diagnosis that ensures they only see their version of the truth.

People can be so mentally unwell, they simply don’t see the wood for the trees. Sometimes we just have to take a step back and wonder what that person has gone through to lead them to such a painful way of life, what they must be going through and be grateful we don’t feel this way.

Humans are flawed individuals and we can’t expect everyone to have the same morals or beliefs as ourselves.

If we do expect them to have the same views as us, and act the same way as we do, that is our problem. We have to come to a place of acceptance that not everyone's the same.

The first hurdle in the game of life is in expectations - because they always set us up for disappointment.

People have always commented that for someone who has no problem expressing very strong opinions, it is baffling that I don’t go in for revenge when I’ve been done wrong.

Ultimately, my view is that there is simply no point. I may be explicit with my words and have zero tact, but I’m authentic.

You will always know where you stand with me, good and bad. If you lead an authentic life, you’ll ultimately come to the realisation that your truth will stay far longer than lies.

You just have to sit and wait for them to fade away, and they always do.

The best revenge a person could inflict upon anyone who has done you wrong is to be successful.

Use the bricks that are thrown at you to build an empire and let the rest lay in the rubble. The unfortunate thing is, the larger the destruction, the bigger the bricks.

Weathering that storm can often be torturous and painful, but stay strong in your character and your beliefs, even when it feels impossible. Remain authentic and see the sadness in those who have caused you harm.

Integrity, humanity, compassion and love are the few tools we can use to try understanding how difficult it must be to live with a life of revenge and bitterness. Love and support those around us, listen to their problems.

The first failure of the world is breakdowns in communication, everything and everything can almost be solved with the simple art of conversation.

We only stop talking and communicating when our ego gets in the way, we are never too superior or important to listen to a fellow human being.

I’ll leave you with this final thought…

A human who has been through a lot of trauma, pain and heartbreak could be considered to have a thousand shattered pieces. If you think of a mosaic, that is also made from thousands of shattered pieces.

Some are glass, some are plastic, some are metal... but ultimately they all come together to create one beautiful picture.

If you’re going through hell, keep going. Take the pieces of your puzzle, bide your time and make a beautiful picture when the pain subsides.

And to ‘IS’ - thank you for being my muse of the week and so much incredible inspiration!