How to tell if you’re over the hill

On Wednesday, there was an article in a national newspaper headed “The 50 unmistakable signs you’re over the hill.”

Wednesday, 26th June 2013, 8:17 pm
John Garner, is one of many pensioners offering to pass on their skills to young people. Picture: Marie Caley

His curiosity aroused by this, Mr Pendle read on to find out what the signs were and discover how far down the other side he had slipped, given he is now nearer to three score years than his half-century – and having read it, he didn’t feel too bad.

Seemingly, he was supposed to feel stiff, groan when he bends down and use sayings like “It wasn’t like that when I was young”, all of which were said to be leading signs of impending decrepitude.

He does none of these things.

Nor does he think our policemen, teachers and doctors look young – thankfully, he doesn’t get the opportunity to look at his doctor that often – and he does not watch the Antiques Roadshow or listen to the Archers or Radio 2.

He might buy and wear clothes for comfort rather than style (he always has), he might struggle to get to grips with some aspects of modern technology and he might complain about the amount of rubbish on television these days – but then so do many people half his age.

So it would appear from this that Mr Pendle is still on the up escalator and has some way to go yet before he reaches the top.

And let us hope so, because there is only one way to go from there and he does not want to start the slippery slide downhill for a good number of years yet.